Separation!!!

I have been leaving Abi (my 1 yr old ) at the nursery for a few weeks now so that I could get back to my work. Initially, when the thought came up I thought it was easy, he'll cry for a few days, and then things will settle in. I had a few friends and family who sent their kids to nursery and never heard anyone complaining or whining.

Unfortunately for Me, Abi, and the nursery they had only 1 day that they could accommodate Abi for. So that was 1 day a week. Sending Abi for once a week was starting all over again every week as he would forget about it, be happy and cheerful. So every Friday was the beginning of the same thing. I left him the first day for an hour and Abi cried for the whole hour. He was distressed, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't play nor settle down. This happened for a few weeks. For me, that hour was a painful hour. I just thought to myself, if I had to leave my boy at the nursery just for him to cry and make himself miserable then there was no point in me leaving him there. I wanted to stop him from going to the nursery. i and Prem had a discussion about it where Prem was dead against it saying that this is the initial period and it will take time. Then I thought to myself and decided to request the nursery if they could try and accommodate another day because one day wasn't doing any good. So the nursery agreed and accommodated 2 days. I usually would sneak out and leave him behind at the nursery. I felt bad and decided to wave him goodbye and assure him that i would be back.

When the 2 day week started, I went to Abi and said that I was going to leave him at the nursery but would be back soon. And waved goodbye. He turned around and waved bye. I am sure he didn't understand what waving was. He must have thought it was a waving game as I was teaching him to wave for both Hi and Bye. He realized by the 2nd week of the 2 day week that I was going to leave him at the nursery and disappear for a while. He would cling on to me and try to say in his own words not to leave. Then I started sneaking out. I felt guilty every minute.

I wonder how we parents do it. It's a hard experience and we still do it.